1. Introduction. This article is a special tribute to my wife, Kamariah, who suffered a cancerous (tumor) growth in the head, underwent surgery and post-surgery treatment and now after more than five years is coping well. Her story is being written here to share the challenges and experiences we went through and perhaps it may provide lessons to those who may go through this similar painful journey.
Kamariah and I were married in 1962
With the Beijing Olympic torch and track suit as I was one of those selected to promote the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games in Kuala Lumpur
The usual 'kemaafan' on the Hari Raya morning
With members of the family - from left Nizam (son-in-law), Rozana (daughter), Kamaria, Syabil Aiman ( youngest cucu - in front of Kamariah), Rosmin (son), Syafique (cucu), Rozita (eldest daughter) and her husband, Roslan. Not in pic Shadzwan (eldest cucu studying in UK)
2. Symptoms. It was early in the year of 2009 when
Kamariah complained that she felt that her right leg was heavy and that she
could no longer control her right arm and on a number of occasions it just
slowly touched the hot frying pan as she was frying bananas, fish or cakes - a
few burnt marks was testimony to her ailment.
On hearing her plight I thought it was associated with the muscles as
one gets old muscular dystrophy is common.
In April that year, a friend, Prof. Don Yates, with his wife from Perth, Australia visited
us and with another friend, Dato’ Kamaruddin Kachar and his wife, decided
to take them by road to Langkawi. We
stopped at Kuala Kangsar to see the freshwater turtle breeding centre and Batu
Feringgi, Penang. While walking to the
night market in Batu Feringgi, I noticed
that Kamariah had difficulty walking and on a number of times fell on the
ground. It then dawned on me that she is
suffering from a more serious ailment than the ordinary muscular one and on my
return after the four day trip, brought her to the family doctor friend, Dr Nor
in Bandar Baru Bangi. On having heard
how Kamariah described the symptoms of her health problem, she indicated that
Kamariah might be suffering from an illness which might actually have its
origin in the brain. She issued a
medical note to be handed to a specialist at any of the hospital that we
planned to go to. She advised that Kamariah be immediately be seen by a
specialist at a hospital with the desired medical equipments (scanners). The next logical step was to go to the
nearest hospital, Serdang Hospital.
However, on checking at the reception to get an appointment, she could
only be slotted in to see a specialist in two months. I did not pursue further with the Hospital on
the urgency of the appointment as I see another opportunity of getting a
specialist to examine her at the National Heart Institute (NHI), where,
Kamariah and I go for our regular medical check-up once every six months, and
the next scheduled check-up was three days away.
I recollected it was a
Monday in May that we left our house early for NHI. It was around 10 am that
Kamariah managed to see the cardiologist.
I handed to the doctor the medical note given by Dr. Nor and on reading
the note, Kamariah was immediately wheeled to the room where her head was
scanned. The doctor on examining
the photograph of the scan, which came
soon after, informed that there was cancerous growth but he needed confirmation
from an oncologist. He told us to return
to his examination room at 2.00 pm. When
we returned at 2.00 pm, the oncologist report confirmed that it was a tumour
and that Kamariah needed to be treated by a specialist at a hospital with an
oncology unit. The options that I discussed
with the doctor were the General Hospital (GH) Kuala Lumpur, University
Hospital (UH) of University of Malaya and University Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM)
Specialist Centre. At GH, the doctor
advised us, there was a long cue of patients and we have to wait for our turn.
It might take quite some time. I was not
familiar with the expertise at UH and having heard of many positive things
about UKM, I opted for this Hospital.
The doctor then rang up the Hospital and he confirmed that the Hospital
agreed to admit Kamariah the following day.
The doctor advised that all close family members be informed.
On returning home I informed my children and
other close family members. The family
members gathered together that day. That night we held special prayers ‘doa
selamat’, led by our grand- nephew, Azmi bin Azizan, who has just returned from his Islamic study
in Syria, for Kamariah successful treatment and recovery.
2. 3. Treatment. It was on Tuesday morning that we checked in
at the Specialist Wing of UKM Hospital.
We were first interviewed by a doctor and the first question was whether
the treatment for Kamariah would come under the usual government pensioner
scheme or we would pay for the treatment.
Under the government pension scheme Kamariah would have to wait. Considering the urgency that she was
given immediate attention and the best
possible treatment the family decided that she be treated as a private
patient. She was then admitted to Wad
Sutera Biru (?) at the Specialist Centre of the Hospital. She underwent further
scan at the Hospital and on Wednesday I had a discussion with Prof. Azizi, a
surgeon, a medical specialist, to whom Kamariah was assigned to. He indicated that Kamariah had a window in
the operating theatre the following day (Thursday 22/5/2009). Thus, at 12 noon on that day, Kamariah was
wheeled to the Operating Theatre with members of the family accompanying her.
She appeared calm and ready to accept her fate.
In the mean time news of her predicament spread among her friends in
Woman Institute, Rukun Tetangga and the ‘kutu’ (savings) group who also prayed
for her well-being. It was at 6.00 pm
that day that we were allowed to visit her in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and
she was already conscious. I was informed that the whole surgical process took
around four hours. She was at the ICU
only overnight and the following day she was back in the original room in Wad
Sutera. She was hospitalised for a total
period of 10 days. The clinical data had
this report:
‘K/c arrhythmia with cardiomegaly. Presented with one month history of right
sided body weakness, headache and poor memory. CT & MRI brain showed large
frontoparietal perifalcine mass with peritumoural cedema & right frontal
dense mass....the tumour measures 2.5x3.5cm...The tumour cells are seen
infiltrating into bone marrow spaces.... Diagnosis: Atypical meningioma WHO Grade 2’.
It was fortunate that she was treated early
at Grade 2 level. If it was late, as the doctor said, the cancerous cells would
have pierced the membrane damaging the brain tissues and the affect might be
more serious.
3. 4. Post Surgical Treatment. On the discharge from the hospital, Kamariah
was on a wheel chair. She went through
radiation therapy for 30 days. Every
morning of a working day for those number of days I had to drive her to the
Hospital in Cheras. She was not able to
walk after the surgery. When she was in
this condition, not long after, she was noticed by a contractor, Encik Khalik
Khoo, who was servicing the house air conditioning units and suggested that she
be treated by an acupuncturist,Mr. Goh, whom he knew. Mr. Goh attended to her soon after. He started massaging the key points and after
perhaps two weeks, Kamariah felt there was a positive effect and slowly she was
able to take, initially a few steps and subsequently able to walk slowly.
After the surgery and
radiotherapy there was no other medication. Our daughter, Rozana and I search
through the internet information to get guidelines as how to take care of a
cancer patient. Two key things emerged –
one, Kamariah needed to build up her immune system as the radiation treatment
might have damaged the healthy cells and at the same time, build up the
mechanism to fight possible invasion of foreign organisms that can affect her
weakened body; secondly, a cancer patient needs to be in a happy environment,
absent of things that could be stressful.
On building the immune system, it was decided through the suggestion of
a friend that she takes a health supplement 4LIFE TRANSFER FACTOR which
Kamariah has been taking religiously up to now.
The other practice is taking herbal formulations – taking the shoot of
‘jarum tujuh’ (Pereskia bleo) as ‘ulam’ and ‘pecah beling’ prepared as watery
concoction.
For a period Kamariah was following the
various exercises to strengthen her legs and arms particularly the affected
right side of her body at the physiotherapy units at Putrajaya Hospital and UKM
Hospital.
To monitor possible recurrence of growth of
the tumour, she underwent initially three monthly scan, followed by a six monthly
and then yearly. Kamariah was given a
clean bill of health after three years.
4. 5. Taking Care of A Cancer
Patient. Though the acupuncture treatment appeared to
have helped Kamariah to be able to walk but the right leg is still weak. She practically has to drag her right foot
and thus has to be assisted when she moves around in the house or taking a walk
in the garden or in a shopping mall. It
appears that a little walk or chore she gets tired easily. She has a little problem with her memory as
she forgets names and her earlier actions, easily. Often, she goes through muscular pains of the
shoulder, arms, back and legs. Accordingly she cut off many of her
activities. She was a Committee member
of the Bangi Branch of Women Institute, Rukun Tetangga. She did not participate
in their meetings and activities. Since
her illness she has not attended the monthly religious classes organised in the
community. It is the same with her
gardening. Her orchids and pots of
ornamentals are not cared. She loves cooking
and her curry kepala ikan jenahak, her ‘masak Aceh asam sunti, her ayam
goreng, pisang goreng are well-known
among the children, grandchildren and friends.
Now she seldom cooks these dishes anymore. She will also only occasionally attend
wedding receptions. We also usually, two to three times, took out time off to
travel in neighbouring countries like Indonesia and Thailand. But after the surgery she has no interest in
overseas travels. For all intent and
purposes she shies away from outside activities. She spends her day reading a little; watching
the news, dramas both local and international (Indonesian and the Philippines);
whenever she has a chance visiting and being with the grandchildren.
We have three children
and only three grandchildren. Our
eldest, Rozita, is married but has not been blessed with any children. Rosmin, the second in the family is already
50 but is still single inspite of the pleadings of his mum who wish to see him
get hitched, as she put it ‘before we go’.
The children usually visit us during week-ends.
Ever since my sick mother was being looked by
us at our home, we have employed Indonesian maids to do household work and
assist in the cooking. The first, Tusmi, from Banyuwangi in East Java, stayed
with us for eight years. She was a
quiet, dedicated lady, who particularly gave her loving care to my mother until
she passed away. Tanti, the second one,
from Central Java was not the home type and ran away after six months. The third, the present one, Sunarti, also a
Javanese has been with us for three years and she is devoted to Kamariah.
Having a maid certainly help in undertaking the day to day chores of cleaning
and cooking. However, as only the two of
us are at home, the full responsibility
of looking after Kamariah rests on my shoulder.
Of course when Kamariah was diagnosed with
cancer it was devastating. However I
took it in stride recognising this is part of my life. I wanted her to have the best medical
attention, with whatever resources we have as a result of our long term
planning for retirement particularly having adequate financial means, coupled
with the medical privileges accorded as a government pensioner. In addition, I decided to provide an
environment at home that she is always happy, as according to what I have read,
it is important that a cancer survivor lives in a conducive happy home. I
attuned my mind that I have to be very patient, control my temper and that I
myself too must always be in a happy mode.
This is not difficult as I am a strong advocate of healthy, active and
happy living. Also, taking care of her
provides me the opportunity to pay back for all the great things that this
wonderful lady has done in our more than 50 years together - as a wife, mother
of the children, cook, housekeeper, daughter in-law, gardener, advisor. She took care both my parents when they were
ill until they passed away in our home.
I thank my lucky star that at least I am healthy to ferry her for
medical treatments, providing support as she moves around, do marketing,
cleaning, cooking, washing the dishes, washing and drying clothes, closing the
windows and doors and ensuring that they are properly locked, switching the
lights and air-cond systems, feeding the many cats that roam the house
compound, driving around, communicating and doing one thousand and one things
that a head of the household has to do. Often I have to be a masseur applying
the oils and massaging her aching muscles and limbs. I have to schedule my time so that she is not
home alone, schedule my many appointments in accordance to her needs as I still
have my business commitments, activities in the Academy of Sciences Malaysia as
a Fellow, President of Persatuan Alumni MARDI and a few other NGOs. Above all, it is a great test of my values as
a human being and that I have keyed my mind that I am going to enjoy performing
all these duties and responsibilities as a husband and head of household.
Celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary two years ago with Dato' Kamaruddin Kachar and Datin Che Tom
Get-together of cancer survivors held at the National Cancer Centre, Putrajaya
Kamariah loves being around with members of the family and friends
Posted on 31/12/2014
Email Address: hashim.abdulwahab@gmail.com
